This week marks the 4th anniversary of Zoë’s Healthy Life. I started this food blog when I was 16. I’m 20 now, and in this series, I’m sharing the 4 life lessons I’ve learned over the past 4 years of blogging. This is lesson 2. 

Other people's opinions and that sort of nonsense

I’ve had the opportunity to learn a lot over the past year. It was a process of trial and error, setbacks and successes—of almost wanting to give up but ultimately always choosing to keep going. Confidence and fear took turns as I discovered that the boundaries of my comfort zone aren’t the limits of my true potential, and that you keep getting better when you acknowledge where you are now and give yourself permission to improve. You don’t have to be flawless from the very beginning. You can also stop trying to control everything—not that you shouldn’t keep your goal in mind, but that you can be more flexible in how you get there. In the same situation, someone who is flexible bends where a control freak breaks. And I’ve let go of the fear of others’ criticism to a greater extent. After all, you can never please everyone. The only thing you can do is enthusiastically follow your own path, and then people with similar tastes will find their way to you. That takes courage—the courage to stand in your own power and take responsibility for yourself. Even I lose heart from time to time. Through those moments, I learned the lesson I want to share with you today. When I didn’t know how to move forward, when fear paralyzed me, or when a setback tripped me up, this gave me back peace and confidence—peace of mind and confidence in myself. From that place, you can see the path clearly again. That path is always there, but if you’re blinded by criticism or others’ expectations, you won’t see it. 

Trade based on trust, not fear

If you want to change the world, you’ll have to add something that isn’t there yet. Your actions won’t be meaningful if you do exactly what someone else is doing and simply copy what already exists. The era of the old is over. The world is craving new and better things. The world needs you—your unique talents, because you have them for a reason. Do you dare to fully embrace your power? Do you dare to stick your neck out? 

Can you still hear what your heart is telling you, and do you dare to really listen? Or do you suppress it, push it away? Because it’s f*cking scary to be innovative. Then you feel that fear creeping up again: “What will others think of me?” That thought turns into “They’ll say I’m crazy.” And that turns into, “Maybe they’re right. The only option now is to try my absolute hardest to be normal. Forget that dream… If I just do what everyone else does, at least I won’t stand out and I won’t be left out.” 

What you think others are thinking is just a thought, too

That whole story stems from what you think others are thinking. You don’t even know if they actually thought that. And of course, you’re not going to ask them about it. Imagine if you were to say to a random passerby, “Hey, how’s it going? I was just wondering what you’d think if I did something that makes me happy.” Actually, your opinion doesn’t matter because I’m living my life and you’re living yours. However, I would find it annoying if you thought or said something negative about me. So I just wanted to check in with you. That way, I can adjust my plans if necessary so you don’t have to get annoyed with me.” In real life, of course, you’d never do that, but in your head, you do it all the time. That’s crazy! You can never please everyone. What Person X thinks is absolutely amazing, Person Y will just find weird. For every person who sees the art in a painting, there’s guaranteed to be someone who tears it to shreds. You’ll never be able to please everyone, and that’s a good thing—because it’s extremely exhausting.

And besides, it doesn’t matter at all what others think of you as long as it makes you happy. Once you stop worrying about it, you’ll experience boundless freedom. All you have to do is let your own opinion carry more weight than others’, because theirs usually isn’t based on much scientific evidence anyway. 😉

P.S. Four years ago, I did a photo shoot to have some pictures of myself when I launched my blog. I’ve tried to recreate that photo shoot. Every day this week through August 1, I’ll share one of these photos along with a life lesson I’ve learned through this project.